I am in a cycle of constant flip-flopping. One moment, I have a grip on my emotions; I see the big picture and I accept the situation. The next, I'm really stressed, discouraged and doubtful. If only I could keep myself in the positive frame of mind, it is a much healthier place to be. And it is correct. The negative side is nothing but detrimental falsity.
Screw you, negativity!
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Simplicity
In the changeroom next to me at the pool today, were at least 3 little girls. I could see their wet feet jumping around under the stall wall, and there was no mistaking their high pitched, clanging voices.
They were talking about socks. And freckles. And Hula Girls.
What a life, eh. Nothing better to do than talk about Hula Girls.
They were talking about socks. And freckles. And Hula Girls.
What a life, eh. Nothing better to do than talk about Hula Girls.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Drinkin' Milk to Bring God Glory!
1 Cor 10:31
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
Initial response: What? How do I eat in a way that glorifies God? Am I going to have to sacrifice all my bad eating habits, or what? Like actually, how do I do that?
1 Timothy 4:3-5
3 They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. 4 For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, 5 because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.
1. Received with thanksgiving
If every good thing comes from God, then we should be thankful every time we eat! I totally don't. At dinner we pray before we eat and thank God for the food He's given us, but at school and throughout my day and stuff, I never do.
2. Consecrated by the word of God and prayer
I think this part, being consecrated by the word of God, is what has happened in the 1 Tim verse. God said all food is edible as long as we thank Him in prayer for it, then it is "consecrated." I don't really get that part..
BUT
Back to that first verse. If this is how we eat and drink in a way that glorifies God, then not doing this does not bring Him glory, which means it's sin I think. So you have to thank God for the food you eat every time in order to glorify Him in this simple, everyday action.
Interesting.
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
Initial response: What? How do I eat in a way that glorifies God? Am I going to have to sacrifice all my bad eating habits, or what? Like actually, how do I do that?
1 Timothy 4:3-5
3 They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. 4 For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, 5 because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.
1. Received with thanksgiving
If every good thing comes from God, then we should be thankful every time we eat! I totally don't. At dinner we pray before we eat and thank God for the food He's given us, but at school and throughout my day and stuff, I never do.
2. Consecrated by the word of God and prayer
I think this part, being consecrated by the word of God, is what has happened in the 1 Tim verse. God said all food is edible as long as we thank Him in prayer for it, then it is "consecrated." I don't really get that part..
BUT
Back to that first verse. If this is how we eat and drink in a way that glorifies God, then not doing this does not bring Him glory, which means it's sin I think. So you have to thank God for the food you eat every time in order to glorify Him in this simple, everyday action.
Interesting.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Let Your Love Never Run Dry
You have to be one of the most broken people I've ever seen. And I don't blame you! You've been through more heartache than should be allowed in one lifetime. I hurt for you. I wish I could make it better, give something of myself to you, bear your burden, trade places. I wish I could, and it hurts not to be able to do anything about it.
I'm watching you struggle through this. Fighting to be understood, to be accepted, to be real. You find ways to feel better. Sometimes they're healthy, sometimes they're not. But you're looking to get better, you're trying out options, searching fiercely. Too bad it's not working for you. You can't fill the void, you can't handle the pain, you can't move on, or get better. You have almost exhausted every option. You are almost done.
I know what will fix it, if you would only believe me. If I could only show you, or put it in a way that you'd understand. I know the Ultimate Healer. I know the One who knows your heart, and knows exactly what you need, and how much and when and how and why. I know who will fix you, who will complete your search.
I've watched Him rescue people time and time again from pains and struggles, from heartache, brokenness, emptiness, loneliness. He's the One. He's the only way.
I feel the need to show you, and I can't really figure out how. But God knows the situation. He knows your heart cry. I'm just trusting Him to use His love to speak to you. To let me love you with a love that isn't of this world, that you won't feel from anyone else, that will satisfy that need for acceptance and love that you are desperately searching for. I hate your brokenness, but there's beauty in it. There's hope, potential.
I'm watching you struggle through this. Fighting to be understood, to be accepted, to be real. You find ways to feel better. Sometimes they're healthy, sometimes they're not. But you're looking to get better, you're trying out options, searching fiercely. Too bad it's not working for you. You can't fill the void, you can't handle the pain, you can't move on, or get better. You have almost exhausted every option. You are almost done.
I know what will fix it, if you would only believe me. If I could only show you, or put it in a way that you'd understand. I know the Ultimate Healer. I know the One who knows your heart, and knows exactly what you need, and how much and when and how and why. I know who will fix you, who will complete your search.
I've watched Him rescue people time and time again from pains and struggles, from heartache, brokenness, emptiness, loneliness. He's the One. He's the only way.
I feel the need to show you, and I can't really figure out how. But God knows the situation. He knows your heart cry. I'm just trusting Him to use His love to speak to you. To let me love you with a love that isn't of this world, that you won't feel from anyone else, that will satisfy that need for acceptance and love that you are desperately searching for. I hate your brokenness, but there's beauty in it. There's hope, potential.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Watching
I'm the first born.
Your stereotypical, stubborn, independent, academic first child.
Whether there was someone coming after me or not, I carved a path. I left my mark. I took steps and chose directions that defined me. But those decisions also defined what it was to be a child in my family.
I bumped shoulders and pushed my way through strict rules and the paranoid parenting strategy of "I've never done this before!" The rules bent, the expectations began to changed until my parents and I came to an understanding of what was expected from both parties, and thus we live in peace.
Then comes the second child.
Social, fun-loving, impulsive and desperately unique.
She is under the standard that I have set. It's inevitable that my growing up in this family defined what was then on expected from a child of this family.
I'm watching as she is fiercely fighting those expectations. Screaming to be heard as an individual.
In my mind, it parallels a butterfly hatching from its cocoon. She is the butterfly, delicate and raw. Recently submerged in the fluid of freedom and individuality. She is surrounded and contained by a tough shell of who she is told to be. The interests she's told to hold, the behavior she's told to carry out. Even the opportunities she's presented with fall under the shadow of the path I've already shaped.
She is breaking the skin. She is clawing at the shell. She is seeking the light.
To be exposed and for her beauty to be compared to the world, only to find there is none like it.
She is nothing like me. Her beauty is much her own. Her interests are not my interests. Her character is uniquely her, and there is no part of me in that.
It's the fight to be recognized as an individual. To break all expectations. To ignore what you're supposed to do, and to instead courageously follow your heart to find what you are.
How dare we hold her back.
How dare we push her down a path someone else carved.
How dare we deprive her of the right to step in her own direction, carving a path of her own.
How dare we stifle her beauty and hide it from the world.
Your stereotypical, stubborn, independent, academic first child.
Whether there was someone coming after me or not, I carved a path. I left my mark. I took steps and chose directions that defined me. But those decisions also defined what it was to be a child in my family.
I bumped shoulders and pushed my way through strict rules and the paranoid parenting strategy of "I've never done this before!" The rules bent, the expectations began to changed until my parents and I came to an understanding of what was expected from both parties, and thus we live in peace.
Then comes the second child.
Social, fun-loving, impulsive and desperately unique.
She is under the standard that I have set. It's inevitable that my growing up in this family defined what was then on expected from a child of this family.
I'm watching as she is fiercely fighting those expectations. Screaming to be heard as an individual.
In my mind, it parallels a butterfly hatching from its cocoon. She is the butterfly, delicate and raw. Recently submerged in the fluid of freedom and individuality. She is surrounded and contained by a tough shell of who she is told to be. The interests she's told to hold, the behavior she's told to carry out. Even the opportunities she's presented with fall under the shadow of the path I've already shaped.
She is breaking the skin. She is clawing at the shell. She is seeking the light.
To be exposed and for her beauty to be compared to the world, only to find there is none like it.
She is nothing like me. Her beauty is much her own. Her interests are not my interests. Her character is uniquely her, and there is no part of me in that.
It's the fight to be recognized as an individual. To break all expectations. To ignore what you're supposed to do, and to instead courageously follow your heart to find what you are.
How dare we hold her back.
How dare we push her down a path someone else carved.
How dare we deprive her of the right to step in her own direction, carving a path of her own.
How dare we stifle her beauty and hide it from the world.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Writer's Craft
I'm so scared you're gonna shut me down.
I'm so scared you're gonna crush me.
I'm not sure I'm strong enough to withstand your criticism.
I'm not sure I'll believe in myself if you don't believe in me.
Your words weigh too much.
They're too blunt, too honest.
Uncushioned, unreserved.
You're going to cut through me,
I can see it now.
As long as you promise to build me back up again.
As long as you leave me with enough to bounce back,
Then I trust you.
I'm so scared you're gonna crush me.
I'm not sure I'm strong enough to withstand your criticism.
I'm not sure I'll believe in myself if you don't believe in me.
Your words weigh too much.
They're too blunt, too honest.
Uncushioned, unreserved.
You're going to cut through me,
I can see it now.
As long as you promise to build me back up again.
As long as you leave me with enough to bounce back,
Then I trust you.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
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