Searching Through the Madness

I looked for you in the crowded street. This was our last chance, our only concrete opportunity; potentially the last time I'd cross your path. I had planned it this way, leaving you the option of meeting me if you remembered, if you wanted to. I laughed and walked, window shopping with linked arms. I ordered an ice cream that was too big and had a nostalgic moment in a year-round Christmas store. I angered a customer in the pizza shop and danced in front of the live band. But at the same time, my eyes screened the people around me. They discriminated based on gender, age, size. It was approaching midnight, the madness still running thick and the silhouettes were outlined and highlighted in yellow light. I looked for your figure, I could point it out from far away. Every glare of bared collarbone skin in a v-neck caught my eye and I checked for your face. Nothing. This yellow lighted meeting within the midnight madness never took place, to my dismay but maybe for the better. I want to see you, I want the feelings back as much as I know it's better that they stop. Our relationship is this dangling string, untied and unfinished. We're apart for good reasons, we both know, but the reason isn't us. But it is.