..

Tell me it's different this time.

Dr Seuss

Dr Seuss is rocking my world. He's genius!
His writing is almost like music; it's rhythmic and mathematical and flowing. It rolls off your tongue when you read it and it just works so good. He both planned it and carved it out perfectly. I love it! It feels so good in my head.
I didn't realize how many sayings he coined. They're such positive, quirky, catchy messages. I'm actually so inspired by this guy, haha. It's weird.
Check it out:
"And today the Great Yertle, that Marvelous he, is King of the Mud. That is all he can see."
“You are you. Now, isn't that pleasant?”
“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.”
“Just tell yourself, Duckie, you're really quite lucky!” -- what does that even mean! Haha, I love it.
“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.”  

I am thoroughly amused and oddly inspired by these silly, rhyming children's stories.

Three Things

1. The pretend heartbeat they put inside Build-A-Bear stuffed animals.
2. Independent people.
3. Dr. Seuss.

Comment

I'm no more against gay people and abortions than I am against liars, cheaters, thieves, jealous, greedy or lustful people, my best friend, my father, or myself.

Why

Why?

I'm scared, that's why.

If Your Memory Serves You Well

Memories are weird things, eh? My best friend and I were talking about last summer today, and we were remembering days of what we did (because it was epic).
They come in still frames, mostly. It's like my mind took pictures periodically throughout the day, storing away moments to be revisited later. I can pick out the weirdest details from those pictures, things you didn't even notice at the time that are subconsciously stored away.
I use to be so scared to forget. I wrote in a journal everyday for at least 4 years so that at any point I could go back and relive one of those days. The night before every birthday was not filled with the excitement that is is for most kids. I never felt ready to move on to a new year, I wasn't done with the age I was. I never read those journals, well once in a while. But it brings back weird feelings, I don't really like it. It's the things my brain chose not to remember.
I think I wrote so much because I valued what happened each day. People got tired of my not-really-that-exciting days, and didn't care to hear the stories. But I cared. Things happened that are ingrained in history forever. I made choices and said words and went places that ripple affected who knows how many people.. That's a scary thought. Literally, you choose to make a left instead of going straight, somebody has to wait 5 seconds and the world is a different place than had you gone straight. That's kind of a weak example, but literally every smile, every word is history, never to be seen again. I'm a little disturbed by that, not being able to go back. I guess life balances itself out with the future. As many moments that are gone and irretrievable, there are still coming. Choices that I'm left to make, people to meet, places to go.
I don't know, I feel like it matters. Everyday, as uneventful as they can be.

On Fire

When everything inside me looks like everything I hate.
You are the hope I have for change,
You are the only chance I'll take.

I'm on fire when You're near me,
I'm on fire when You speak.
I'm on fire burning at these mysteries.

Hm..

So many songs I wish I wrote.
They articulate the feelings I can't make sense of.

I love it.

I love Aslan.

C.S. Lewis does a brilliant job of portraying Aslan. It awakens something inside of me, a deep love and appreciation for his character. He is so powerful and strong, all the Narnians call on him to help them when they can't conquer something on their own. He gives wonderful gifts of miraculous abilities and thoughtful characteristics. His gentleness is so beautiful, and his connection with Lucy - how she runs and buries her face in his mane knowing all well his might. I think that's what makes him - his simultaneous ferocity and gentleness. The perfect balance and beauty in his complexity. He's just so deeply good, and rules supreme with a gentleness and humility that I don't see anywhere else.
I want to be on his side, I want to fight for him. I want his approval and his love. I feel like it's all that matters. I'm not talking about a lion in a movie, I'm talking about who he represents: God. I just wouldn't be afraid with him around, I'd feel safe. And even when he holds back, knowing he's there watching waiting for the right time to jump in and save me.
I can't really explain it. My soul just longs for Him. It doesn't make sense how much I love him and recognize his position, and yet I forget him so often. But things like this movie, certain songs or things I read, or some nights when I just can't figure life out, I just really long for him, I really want him close.
It's a loneliness no person has filled, it's a hope to face each new day, it's a purpose that goes deeper than success, it's a peace that my life is in his control. Man, I love him. He is so good!
Life is only good with him. Can't live without him.
I love you Aslan.

Story Of My Life Today

what's the worst thing that could happen
we find out that we don't quite fit
but on the flip side, we could be just right
and sure there's the chance
that we'll both end up broken and split
but that's my kind of risk

i'm not trying to make you think
this is some kind of great big deal
i just know exactly how you feel

I'm not sure that's my kind of risk.