Three Things

1. The pretend heartbeat they put inside Build-A-Bear stuffed animals.
2. Independent people.
3. Dr. Seuss.

Comment

I'm no more against gay people and abortions than I am against liars, cheaters, thieves, jealous, greedy or lustful people, my best friend, my father, or myself.

Why

Why?

I'm scared, that's why.

If Your Memory Serves You Well

Memories are weird things, eh? My best friend and I were talking about last summer today, and we were remembering days of what we did (because it was epic).
They come in still frames, mostly. It's like my mind took pictures periodically throughout the day, storing away moments to be revisited later. I can pick out the weirdest details from those pictures, things you didn't even notice at the time that are subconsciously stored away.
I use to be so scared to forget. I wrote in a journal everyday for at least 4 years so that at any point I could go back and relive one of those days. The night before every birthday was not filled with the excitement that is is for most kids. I never felt ready to move on to a new year, I wasn't done with the age I was. I never read those journals, well once in a while. But it brings back weird feelings, I don't really like it. It's the things my brain chose not to remember.
I think I wrote so much because I valued what happened each day. People got tired of my not-really-that-exciting days, and didn't care to hear the stories. But I cared. Things happened that are ingrained in history forever. I made choices and said words and went places that ripple affected who knows how many people.. That's a scary thought. Literally, you choose to make a left instead of going straight, somebody has to wait 5 seconds and the world is a different place than had you gone straight. That's kind of a weak example, but literally every smile, every word is history, never to be seen again. I'm a little disturbed by that, not being able to go back. I guess life balances itself out with the future. As many moments that are gone and irretrievable, there are still coming. Choices that I'm left to make, people to meet, places to go.
I don't know, I feel like it matters. Everyday, as uneventful as they can be.

On Fire

When everything inside me looks like everything I hate.
You are the hope I have for change,
You are the only chance I'll take.

I'm on fire when You're near me,
I'm on fire when You speak.
I'm on fire burning at these mysteries.

Hm..

So many songs I wish I wrote.
They articulate the feelings I can't make sense of.

I love it.

I love Aslan.

C.S. Lewis does a brilliant job of portraying Aslan. It awakens something inside of me, a deep love and appreciation for his character. He is so powerful and strong, all the Narnians call on him to help them when they can't conquer something on their own. He gives wonderful gifts of miraculous abilities and thoughtful characteristics. His gentleness is so beautiful, and his connection with Lucy - how she runs and buries her face in his mane knowing all well his might. I think that's what makes him - his simultaneous ferocity and gentleness. The perfect balance and beauty in his complexity. He's just so deeply good, and rules supreme with a gentleness and humility that I don't see anywhere else.
I want to be on his side, I want to fight for him. I want his approval and his love. I feel like it's all that matters. I'm not talking about a lion in a movie, I'm talking about who he represents: God. I just wouldn't be afraid with him around, I'd feel safe. And even when he holds back, knowing he's there watching waiting for the right time to jump in and save me.
I can't really explain it. My soul just longs for Him. It doesn't make sense how much I love him and recognize his position, and yet I forget him so often. But things like this movie, certain songs or things I read, or some nights when I just can't figure life out, I just really long for him, I really want him close.
It's a loneliness no person has filled, it's a hope to face each new day, it's a purpose that goes deeper than success, it's a peace that my life is in his control. Man, I love him. He is so good!
Life is only good with him. Can't live without him.
I love you Aslan.

Story Of My Life Today

what's the worst thing that could happen
we find out that we don't quite fit
but on the flip side, we could be just right
and sure there's the chance
that we'll both end up broken and split
but that's my kind of risk

i'm not trying to make you think
this is some kind of great big deal
i just know exactly how you feel

I'm not sure that's my kind of risk.

Jesus Break Down, By Paul

Paul's life was ridiculous. I can't get over it. He gets like chased out of cities, stoned, miraculously freed from prison and even how he came to know Jesus is actually incredible.
In Acts 17:22-32, Paul speaks to the Gentiles. I'm no history know-it-all, but the Gentiles as I understand were everyone who didn't consider themselves Jewish. Honestly, I hardly know what that means, haha. But I know that Jesus coming to earth bridged the gap and allowed faith in God to reach now everyone - Jews and Gentiles.
So Paul's in this city where the people are not Christians, so they don't know about Jesus or follow His way of life. Realistically, he's standing up in front of a bunch of people who believe something completely different than him and telling them about Jesus. I'd be scared to do that. Even in my English class, some people are so fiercely against Jesus. Well, it's more like people are against "Christianity." But I say - it's not what you think. Pretty uncomfortable situation, but that's his whole goal: to go into places where they don't serve Jesus and present Jesus and the Truth. I shouldn't call it his goal, it was God's goal and God inspired and empowered Paul to do it.

This is what Paul tells the Areopagus people (the people who don't believe in Jesus, but have lots of philosophies on life, similar to today!):
[This is my interpretation. Look up Acts 17:22-32 for God's exact words]

Hey guys! I can tell you all follow some religious standards, because as I was walking here, I was looking at the objects that you worship. I found this one altar with the inscription: To the unknown god. What you worship as unknown, I will show you in reality. The God who made the world and everything in it, as in the Lord (ruler) over heaven and earth, doesn't live in places that have been built by human hands, neither is he helped or served by humans hands as if He needed anything, because God gives to all people life and breath and everything. He populated the whole world from one man, having set all of the laws of nature, so that they would seek God, with the hope that they might feel their way toward Him and find Him. (I love that line). But he's actually quite close to each one of us, for even your Greek philosophers claim that "In him we live and move and have our being," and your own poets have said "For we are indeed his offspring." If we are then created by God, then God can't be thought of as a gold, silver or stone statue, an image that was created by the art and imagination of humans. (Because if we are made in God's image, and we are such complex and wonderful beings, God must be so much more than a material statue). The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now, (since Jesus has been to earth, and these people have been presented with Jesus) he commands everyone, everywhere to recognize their sins and ask for forgiveness, because he has planned a day on which he will judge the world based on his standard, by someone whom he has chosen; (Jesus, the only person worthy to judge anyone. Because He's perfect and He's God) and God has assured us that he's the right guy because God raised him from the dead. 

That's the low down on Jesus, and God and the Bible. Not so condemning and ridiculous as it is thought of, eh? It's quite hopeful actually. 
 

I want you back